Day one:  Improvement Is Hard

Woke up this morning at 10:30. Knew it was going to be a long day when my first thought was calculating how long until I could go back to sleep.  That being said I figured if I was going to be miserable I might as well be miserable while doing something useful.  

With this in mind I decided to start on my journey of betterment. The kids were home so the possibility of me setting up my website and laying out my improvement plan was nonexistent. I thought that I may have had a hope of fixing up my workout room without too much interference though so I went downstairs and opened the long closed door. 

What I saw was everything I had known it would be. What had once been a haven from the chaos that is life sometimes had literally been torn apart and shit all over. One of the hell hounds we keep had escaped from his crate in the middle of the day and made it his own playground of piss, shit, and general assholishness. 

I almost turned away and went right back upstairs. I almost gave up like I had so many times before after looking on the chaos and destruction in that room. It had been abandoned after the day the dog ran wild with the hope that one day I would clean it.  I don’t want you to think this was a focal point of our house that I let steep in doggy bodily fluids. It’s basically nothing more than a sectioned off part of the garage with weights, mats, a treadmill and a workout machine named Marcy. I hate that bitch. 

So it wasn’t much but it was mine. And it was a place of peace and betterment. And it was destroyed. So today I set about bettering the place which will play a pivotal roll in bettering myself. After hours of contemplation with no action and days of listening to people who know far more than me I decided that to make your life better you have to make your self better. To make your self better you have to make your mind better and to make your mind better you have to make your body better. And to make my body better I had to wade through a sea of shit. Literally and figuratively speaking. 

I won’t bore you with the details of the day both because you don’t care and I don’t have the time.  Suffice it to say that it’s 530. I’ve just finished and I’m hiding in my bathroom to fire off this first blog post while pretending to take the longest shit/shower break ever.

I’m exhausted and angry and frustrated and sweaty and hungry and grumpy and all the other weird dwarf name sounding words a man can be. It was not a fun day or a relaxing day. It was difficult and there were many times I considered giving up. But I didn’t. And now I have my workout room back. I even walled up the hole the little devil dog got through.

My thought of the day is “If it’s going to be a shitty day anyway, you might as well make it mean something.”

For me it meant the beginning of my journey of self betterment. For you it means being able to read and listen and watch as a middle aged man tries to make his way through life the best way he knows how. And for my family I guess it means wondering why I take so long in the bathroom and why I won’t finally go see a doctor if I’m having that much difficulty. 

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